Setting Healthy Boundaries!
The current climate forced many 9-5 office employees to work from home. I’ve worked online from home for many years. It’s great and freeing, especially if you work for yourself.
Sadly, I’ve been shocked at the disrespect of these, ‘LET’S PLAY CEO’ homeworkers. Recently, walking along the canal, one sunny morning, passing a block of apartments, a sonorous male voice of self importance, reverberated from an open window, his neighbours and the whole world being forced to listen in to his business calls, even the swans and ducks had to endure this verbal disruption. Is it an ego thing?
I live in a modernish terrace of 4, fabulous neighbours except for the one in between me and the end. At each end we have 2 young couples, one with a 5 year old, directly next to me and the other couple with a very cute 8 month old baby, currently finding her voice. Such a happy little soul. Two middle aged single women in the middle, myself and the one in between.
Through the first year of the pandemic, during all that lovely weather, we sat out and chatted through the fences, drinking the odd glass of wine, G&T, barbecues lit, a lovely atmosphere into the evenings, except for the one in between me and the end.
The young men at each end happily help out with small home maintenance jobs, we always ask each other if we need anything when taking a trip to the shops. We courteously bring each others bins in without thinking – it’s just a wonderful neighbourly relationship, in a very peaceful neighbourhood, but you always have that one don’t you??
We’ve had some lovely sunny days again, and I have worked outside under the parasol, wearing earphones so that I’m not subjecting anyone else to my business. When I have zoom calls, I go inside to protect my clients privacy and respect my neighbours rights to sit out and enjoy their gardens. But not the one in between me and the end.
The window wide open, to her makeshift ‘call centre’, her customers/team members on loudspeaker and herself shouting back to them in her ‘Jeremy Kyle guest’ fashion.
Her direct neighbours, me and the couple with the young baby have already been subjected to her extremely loud sexual romps with Tinder candidates, banging against probably every wall in the house, and on a daily basis we endure her running round her small house, like a trapped wild boar, either that or she is attached to a bungee cord? We daren’t complain about this part of her behaviour in case she makes life worse for us. She slams doors to the degree our houses tremble, the neighbours with the baby told me the baby monitor once fell off the shelf.
The one in between is early fifties, petite, blonde, botox, hair extensions, fake tan, lip fillers, Tinder, drugs, alcohol and shouts like a fish wife, and wants fake grass in her garden, (I’m not against fake grass, it’s just another item to the list of FAKE). I’m not really in the habit of judging people but when you live next door to someone who is very invasive and affects your daily life, you can’t help judge and wonder what the hell is going on in their heads.
I was sitting out one lovely warm morning, enjoying my breakfast when the ‘call centre’ opened up, it was 8.30 am. I let the one in between air her 2 way conversations for a while, then called her and asked politely if she could close her window and do her calls in private. The window slammed shut and I thought the issue was resolved and appreciated she had taken my request on board.
A few days later, a Saturday morning, we were blessed with more warm sunny weather and the ‘call centre’ opened up to the public once again. So having her number, I text her and politely asked again to close her window. You could literally hear every word being said. She came to the window and shouted back at me, “I have to work from home…..”, so I suggested she open the windows at the front of her house and let the air flow through. The window slammed shut and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Then the inevitable happened, my dog barked. She barks probably 3 times a day, especially if another dog is being walked at the back of the garden. I knew what was coming……….
The window suddenly flew open and a hideous voice screamed,
“You shut your dog up!!….. I have to put up with your dog barking and that screaming baby next door – I have to work from home and need my window open, if you don’t like it call the council”.
She had previously told me she hated the birds singing, they annoy her, so we are dealing with a very low vibrational being here and yes I know, she needs a lot of love and nurturing. I have done some work on her, sent her love, for the highest good of all but not sure it is making a difference? We shall see.
So the 2 way phone conversation continued for the whole world to hear, and very possibly she is breaching her employer’s data and privacy protection regulations.
I decided to set healthy boundaries, not just for me but for my lovely neighbours too and nip this in the bud. I went inside and scrolled on my iPad for some lovely Shamanic Positive Healing Vibes, Steel Tongue Drum 432H music on YouTube, it is so calming, and just beautiful. I connected my wireless speaker, took it out into the garden and turned up the volume. I courteously texted my other neighbours to let them in on why the music was so loud. They absolutely loved it. The neighbours with the baby asked if I could turn the volume higher, they found it so soothing and the baby had fallen asleep.
It wasn’t long before the one in between slammed her window shut and so far she hasn’t disrupted the peace. Once satisfied, I in turn, reduced the volume, then eventually turned it off.
Sometimes you just have to set healthy boundaries!!
Are you assertive enough? Do you set healthy boundaries? Or do you suffer in silence? If you feel people take advantage of your good nature and want to feel more empowered, being able to stand your ground without caving in, hypnotherapy is a great tool to help you with this. Book a free consultation and let’s have a chat.